I seem to do my best writing on a Sunday morning. While my partner sleeps, I write, his calming presence accompanied by the early morning bird song really gives me a chance to breathe, and access my creativity.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we can’t control, or are unexpected. This weekend I had a nasty surprise, a lady who I had thought was my friend who had betrayed my trust, popped back up unexpectedly and the encounter wasn’t pleasant.
This encounter knocked me for six and I needed a moment to compose myself but obviously, seeing as I’m still writing about it, it has been playing on my mind.
There’s something very Freudian about thinking about the people that don’t like you. I suppose it’s a self reflection and retrospective view into my psyche and how I strive to be liked by most people I meet but that’s an impossibility and I know that. So why did it affect me so much that this one person so obviously didn’t care about me any more?
I’m hoping that by expressing my thoughts I can put this whole experience behind me and develop into a much stronger and less dependent individual.
Looking at the situations that have led to this circumstance which I’m in today, I can see that the main reason it hit me so much with my ex friend was because I currently have a distinct lack in female friends and although there is nothing inherently wrong with having male friends (in fact sometimes it can be a breath of fresh air) I realised that I missed the shopping trips, the girly days out, and the movie nights.
So it wasn’t that I missed the friend, it was more that I was missing the emotional connection that only girls hanging with girls seem to provide.
So obviously, my female friendships need working on in order to make me feel like a well rounded individual again but in knowing this, I feel like a weight has lifted. I don’t feel as awful from my terrible encounter as I know why and how I can move past it which is a trick I think applies across all aspects of life.
Whether we bump into people that are now strangers, or run into situations that frustrate us, it’s important to self assess why we feel the way we do, looking deep within ourselves to the ugly parts of our psyche. In doing so, and discovering the parts of us which we don’t like, we can then actively pursue life paths which point us in a direction which ultimately leads to true happiness.
Until next time.