Looking Past Jealousy

Are you like me? Do you find yourself overwhelmingly jealous of friends or family because they seemingly have everything under control? It’s a niggling feeling that digs under your skin, probes at your brain, that little thought that maybe there’s a reason you’re unhappy, unsettled. Maybe it was that slightly bad thing you did back then that’s digging it’s heels in, begging for revenge? Maybe it’s karma for the way I spoke to the barista in the coffee shop that one time when I was having a bad day?

I have a friend, who went through an awful experience all at once, similarly to my own tribulations. It took her a few months to get her life where she wanted it and now she’s happy with her partner. Of course things aren’t perfect but she’s in a good place. It didn’t take a long time in the grand scheme of things, unlike my situation.

I could moan about my circumstances but in all honesty, I’m in a better place than where I was last year. Of course, there are days where I question myself, wondering when will it be my turn for something to go right, but these thoughts rarely prove to be fruitful.

In truth I have goals I’m working towards, things in the pipeline for later in the year. I’ve set a date and I need to get working in order to hit my goals. But as usual, I’m procrastinating the difficult things, too nervous to hit the ground running, preferring to ease myself in, like getting into a slightly cool swimming pool, too afraid to dip more than my big toe.

Instead of being jealous of those who only want the best for me, I’m going to try and take a different approach, learn how to ease myself into the pool more quickly. After all, there is no point being jealous of someone who is living a totally different life to you. All we can do in this life is live the best we can and try and have some fun along the way.

Until next time.

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3 thoughts on “Looking Past Jealousy

  1. I totally understand what you mean Kirsty. And it can eat you up inside if you let it. You’ve done the best thing for yourself that you can, you’ve set goals. While it is human nature to draw comparisons, one thing you need to bear in mind is that you are a unique piece in the puzzle of life, as are those you love and respect, and everyone else.
    Nobody can take your spot. Without your piece, the puzzle is incomplete. Human beings have delineated boundaries saying you should be here or you should be there, when in truth, your path is unique. And again, you are taking small steps, that is what you need to do when you feel you can’t take big ones. Above all, have faith. Your destiny has been crafted for you to flourish, not for you to fall. It is beautiful and one of a kind. One day you will look back in retrospect and say, ‘yes, it all happened just as it should have.’

    Liked by 1 person

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