Today was the day. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. A bitter salty taste nipped at the back of my throat, the air rolling in from the ocean. Seagulls squawked overhead, threatening to drop a good luck bomb on an unsuspecting victim. Today was the day that I was finally going to tell him that I loved him.
Leaning against the half brick wall that separated the beach and the high street I blindly watched as people wandered past, none of them Lucas.
It wasn’t the usual time of day for Lucas to be out and about, he normally didn’t roll out of bed until at least three in the afternoon, so I hadn’t expected to see him until at least sunset, I couldn’t help the excitement bubbling under my skin.
A couple perched on the bench, tucking into a late lunch of chip shop chips, lovingly laughing and enjoying life.
It had been late one night when Lucas had kissed me for the first time. He had been all tongue and sex appeal, his hands roaming my bare hips openly as if we hadn’t been kissing in the parking lot against his car.
Lucas drove me home that night, even after I had refused him any more than my precious kisses, and had even walked me to the door, although in hindsight he probably had ulterior motives.
It all seemed a lifetime ago. That had been the day that our tainted love affair had begun, his lips on mine as his then girlfriend waited at home for him to come back from his gig at the local madhouse. It had been exciting, enticing. The lure of the forbidden.
Obviously, his romantic involvement with his girlfriend had dissipated and Lucas had crawled to my side like a love sick puppy.
I didn’t know why I loved him, I just felt this niggling feeling whenever he was near, these butterflies in my stomach that had begun fluttering now.
Today was the day I was going to tell him how I felt. I wasn’t expecting the world, or even a fairytale happy ending, all I wanted was for him to feel the same, for him to want me.
Only, when he’s with someone new, taking someone new on a date, rubbing it in your face, it’s hard not to feel frustrated.
He was never the kind of man that woke up in the day, never the kind of man to take a woman on a date and yet there they were on the pier rubbing their happiness in my face.
Today was most definitely the day I expressed how I felt.